forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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