I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize