did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize