I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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