i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
