I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
