go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
