I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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