i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize