you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
