If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
worst night to have a conscience
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize