"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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