You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm having to shit out rocks
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