cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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