I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
