just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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