Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
