And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
