He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
