so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
