We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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