It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
