i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
