we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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