OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
