She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
