Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
