I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
