I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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