let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
