Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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