the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
