we have pet lesbian snakes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
