Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
