I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Randomize
