why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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