who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
