Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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