I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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