never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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