She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dick very happy bro
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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