I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
