so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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