in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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