Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize