Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
