whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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