I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
