So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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