sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize