Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
