he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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