I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
