YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
