So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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