i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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