You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
