If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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