she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
