Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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