Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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